(Smol Panther is very startled by today's sale.)
Yup, it's Labor Day, which for me means doing approximately eleventy-seven loads of laundry, trying to find my child's school bag and lunchbox, and hiding out in the air conditioning because it is going to be entirely too many degrees today. And also having a sale, because capitalism or something.
Coupon code LABORDAY takes 30% off everything (except Smol Panther) until midnight West Coast time tonight, and most orders will ship tomorrow because DID I MENTION THE SHORT PERSON IS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL? Although I might take a nap after I drop her off, especially since I have choir rehearsal from 6:30 to 9:30 tomorrow night WHY ARE THE HIGH HOLY DAYS SO EARLY THIS YEAR I DON'T LIKE IT.
I usually do the anniversary sale the first week in November, but this year I'm flying out to Wisconsin on November 2nd for a music retreat, so... rather than making y'all wait until I get back, we're going to do it a week early!
*throws confetti, blows noisemakers*
*winces, puts in earplugs*
...did I mention that I'm recovering from a particularly nasty run of migraines? And that I've spent approximately six minutes planning the anniversary sale because I've spent most of the past month hiding in a dark room pretending my head doesn't exist? That's okay, though. I'll make it up as I go along.
Which, honestly, is pretty much what I've been doing for the past twelve years anyway, because... well, I never actually planned to be a jewelry artist. It just... sort of happened? I started making jewelry as a hobby back in 2003, and people started asking to buy it and they told their friends who also wanted to buy it, and I made a website and it sort of went viral and suddenly it wasn't a hobby anymore, at least not according to the IRS, but being an artist isn't a sensible life choice and I had a Real Job with an office in Manhattan and everything, so I decided I'd just be a Responsible Grownup by day and An Artiste by night and I drank a lot of tea and didn't sleep very much.
And then one Monday in October of 2005 I went into my office in Manhattan and discovered no fewer than 37 angry emails from the same board member in my inbox and possibly I forwarded all 37 of them to my boss along with a letter of resignation and then had a panic attack because BEING AN ARTIST IS NOT A SENSIBLE CAREER CHOICE, KYTH and yet somehow it all worked out just fine. For twelve years and counting.
(Although I still drink a lot of tea and don't sleep very much, but at least now I get to do it on my own schedule and in pajamas.)
Honestly, I think anybody who tells you they know what they're doing with their life is probably either lying through their teeth or on much better ADHD meds than I am. Or maybe both.
So... yeah. Here I am. Twelve years in, still flying by the seat of my pants and making it up as I go along. And with that said, here's what we're doing to start the party:
- coupon code 12TH takes $12 off any order of $50 or more
- there's a pretty sweet Earring Club deal happening
- livestream on Thursday from 7 - 8 pm eastern time
- Instant Gratification session on Friday!
- this space intentionally left blank
(Seriously, though? THANK YOU. All of you. I couldn't have done this without you. [Insert a lot of embarrassing mushy sentimental stuff here.] I don't know how much longer my hands will let me keep doing this, but I plan to find out, because honestly, this is a lot more fun than having a Real Job.)
Apparently I owe the IRS an extra $500. Which, okay, not the end of the world, because budgeting, but also not my idea of a good time. Grumble.
(But hey, my newish anxiety meds are working, because I got the news from my accountant and just went "dammit, guess it's time to run a sale" instead of panicking for three hours. Yay for testing their efficacy, I guess?)
So! Coupon code TAXSALE takes $15 off $75+, through Sunday night. On everything except subscriptions, which... hm. I've been meaning to do a promotion on that too, what the heck. Hang on.
*pokes at settings*
Okay, now that code also gets you $10 off your first month of the Earring Club. Go on, you know you want earrings in your mailbox every month. All the cool kids are doing it...
(This is a stock photo for the purpose of drama and hyperbole. My car is surprisingly not rusty considering how many New England Winters it's survived.)
So, my weekend has been super exciting so far. For the definition of "exciting" that involves having a tire blow out on the interchange between NH101 and I-93, not being able to pull over for at least a mile because see previous statement about location, having to call a tow truck because I was way too brainfogged to safely do a double tire change myself in the dark on semi-muddy ground (it was a front tire, and apparently you can't put a donut spare on the front of a Subaru? I don't know, I'm an artist) and then buying four new tires on a holiday weekend when most of the reputable tire places in town were closed.
And I did all of this with a cranky child who recently lost her screentime privileges in tow, for extra fun and excitement! Because that's how you roll when you're a single mother.
(Or, y'know, don't roll, because spectacularly flat tire.)
Completely unrelated to this or the fact that my out-of-warranty car was already scheduled to go to the mechanic for its annual checkup tomorrow, I'm having a sale! Completely unrelated, I tell you. Pure coincidence. Yup.
Coupon code MAY takes 25% off everything. I expect I'll be moving some stuff into clearance later today too, just because it's been a while since I did that.
Go forth and buy yourself something shiny! Or tell your friends. Or tell the stranger sitting next to you at the coffeeshop, although that may make them look at you funny.
(And if your car is vibrating and/or making alarming noises on the highway, don't assume it's just the alignment and that you'll be fine until your appointment with the mechanic on Tuesday, because it might be a tire coming apart and that is not really the sort of excitement you want in your life. Trust me.)
(Preemptive TL;dr: coupon code APRIL takes 30% off everything, go buy some shinies, linear thinking is hard, sudafed is one of the great miracles of the universe, cats are jerks.)
You know how some companies will say "our inventory is overflowing" and you're pretty sure it's just hyperbole?
Around here, things are literally overflowing. One of the cats has slight kleptomaniac tendencies and keeps trying to steal things out of this basket, and I keep telling him DUDE YOUR EARS AREN'T EVEN PIERCED AND ALSO YOU'RE A CAT YOU DON'T NEED EARRINGS but he doesn't seem convinced.
Or maybe he's just a very fuzzy dragon with no wings? I don't know.
ANYWAY. The problem is that we have a few too many shinies, and you know what that means, right?
(No, it doesn't mean that I should probably stop buying beads. HUSH.)
IT MEANS WE'RE HAVING A SALE, which is a fancy way of saying I'm delegating this problem to you. Once the earrings or whatever are in your house, it becomes YOUR problem to figure out how to keep cats from stealing them. I'm guessing that will be easiest if you don't have any cats. Or small children. Or roommates. Or birds. Or friends.
...sorry, I've been reading Seanan McGuire novels again which tends to be contagious HA I'M HILARIOUS and also possibly I'm operating entirely on sudafed and caffeine and shouldn't be allowed to have words or the internet.
What was I saying? Right, sale. Coupon code. Cheapness. THINGS! [vague handwaving]
Through the end of April, everything is 30% off with coupon code APRIL. Which I think means you can afford to buy 30% more jewelry? I don't know, I'm bad at math, which probably also explains why I ran out of inventory bags last week.
Here, have a bonus cat photo since I can't figure out a graceful way to wrap up this post. This cat doesn't usually steal earrings but the other day a roommate walked into the dining room right as I was yelling "WHY DID YOU BITE THE ROLL OF INVENTORY LABELS?" at the table and he wasn't even concerned, which tells you a lot about what it's like to live here.
(Black cats are really hard to photograph, especially if they're under a table and you're brandishing a roll of chewed-up thermal labels in your other hand.)