holiday shipping deadlines

The winter holidays are fast approaching, and so are holiday shipping deadlines! Please keep the following dates in mind, because your friendly neighborhood wirebender can only work so many miracles in any given day:

  • if you would like your shinies to arrive before the first night of Hannukah (Tuesday, December 13th), the order must be placed no later than Sunday, December 3rd. No exceptions, because I will be at a conference and I haven't been able to teach the cats to pack orders.
     
  • if you would like your shinies to arrive before the last night of Hanukkah (Tuesday, December 19th) it would be a really good idea to observe the previous shipping deadline, but you will probably be fine as long if your order is placed no later than Sunday, December 10th. Unless I come home from the conference with some sort of plague, which is entirely possible because, well, 5500 people in a convention center for 5 days. In New England. In December. (Wait. Who thought this was a good idea?)
     
  • If you would like your shinies to arrive before Christmas Eve (Sunday, December 24th) the order must be placed no later than Friday, December 15th. Again, no exceptions; I am not a Time Lord. (Unless you want to pay $40 for overnight shipping, and yes, that is an exorbitant markup because I charge extra for things I don't want to do. Now you know.)
     
  • If you somehow manage to forget about the existence of Christmas until December 19th, as someone inevitably does every single year (how? how is that possible? do you live under a rock??) your options are… a gift certificate or a larger gift certificate!
     
  • If you live outside the United States, AHAHAHAHA good luck. Maybe try sacrificing a goat to your local gods? Or just buy a gift certificate, it’s much less messy and PETA probably won’t get mad at you unless they find out I’m not a vegetarian in which case… uh… you’re on your own here, actually.

 



Comment on this post (1 comment)

  • Ida says...

    I didn’t read this when originally posted, bacause I knew I did not have deadlines. Just read the whole thing now, and thank you for my laugh of the day! Real honesty is hysterical.

    December 06, 2017

Leave a comment