holiday shipping deadlines, with bonus visual earworm

The winter holidays are fast approaching, and so are holiday shipping deadlines! Please keep the following dates in mind, because your friendly neighborhood wirebender can only work so many miracles in any given day:

  • if you would like your shinies to arrive before the last night of Hannukah (Sunday, December 9th), the order must be placed no later than this coming Monday, December 3rd. It is physically impossible for me to get things to you before the first night of Hanukkah unless you happen to live in New Hampshire or just really really like road trips and want to come pick them up between now and sundown on Tuesday.

  • If you would like your shinies to arrive before Christmas Eve (Monday, December 24th) the order must be placed no later than Saturday, December 15th. No exceptions; I am not a Time Lord. (Unless you want to pay $45 for overnight shipping, and yes, that is an exorbitant markup because I charge extra for things I don't want to do. Now you know.)
  • If you celebrate a different winter holiday that I'm not looking up right now because I have a migraine and looking things up on screens hurts, you should order at least one week in advance, and preferably more like 10 days. Also, Priority Mail is your friend if you need things fast.

  • If you somehow manage to forget about the existence of Christmas until December 19th, as someone inevitably does every single year (how? how is that possible? do you live under a rock??) your options are… uh... a gift certificate or a larger gift certificate! 
  • If you live outside the United States, AHAHAHAHA good luck. Maybe try sacrificing a goat to your local gods? Try a gift certificate, it’s much less messy and PETA probably won’t get mad at you unless they find out I’m not a vegetarian in which case… uh… you’re on your own here, actually.

(If you want a gift certificate, please email me and we'll figure out how to make it work. PayPal no longer offers gift certificates and Shopify charges a truly ridiculous amount of money for the privilege of having gift certificates, but I have some workarounds that are only moderately clunky and annoying.)

 I'm always happy to ship directly to the gift recipient and will even giftwrap it, although I'll warn you that my giftwrapping skills are... adequate at best? I mean, it's better than nothing, but there are no artisanal fir sprigs or miniature pinecones or whatever those red things are. Just sparkly paper that probably won't look like I made the 7-year-old do it for me.
In other news: I got over pneumonia! Yay! But then I promptly got a sinus infection! Very not yay! And my insurance is being all "WE DON'T THINK YOU ACTUALLY NEED THIS MEDICATION YOUR DOCTOR PRESCRIBED SO WE AREN'T GOING TO PAY FOR IT" so I kinda want to bite people today, or at least let Smol Panther bite them for me. Also, bonus migraine! Because incoming snowstorm + sinus aliens = I have been awake and irritable since 3:30 am! But it's fine! I don't need to work or anything! 
Seeing as how I'm not independently wealthy, though, I've been working on some Christmas-themed earrings today, and... well. The short person and I have been marathoning the Addams Family this week and Fioricet makes me punchy, what can I say? SORRY NOT SORRY. 
(They'll be on the website tomorrow. I hope.)
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